Return

I haven’t written in a while and I am continually reminded I have a responsibility to do so. I find myself in a strange place with the subject matter time and again. I imagine myself sometimes as if I were some New Age mystic so self-confident about my new discoveries and eager to gobble up all the truths about love and light that my fellow travelers want to share. I watched a show last night on psychic children, many of whom were claimed to be ‘indigo’ children. Needless to say I couldn’t attest to much of what was going on or the veracity of their skills or powers, the only thing I did relate to was one child who said that when he is impelled to talk about being ‘psychic’ spirits come ‘into him’ and make him very sleepy. As the interview progressed he suddenly curled up in a ball on the couch and appeared to barely be able to stay awake. I have experienced this all my life in regards to my writing; it is as if some force is trying to suppress my instinct to share my writing although I can’t imagine what this is or how it would operate through drowsiness, though nevertheless it does

I began following D.M. Murdock on facebook years ago and acquainted myself with her writing and theories. I found her interesting because she’d been involved firsthand in archaeological exploits in Greece and because she was able to read in about six or seven different languages. It is actually much easier to learn to read in languages than to speak in them, speaking takes a different kind of memory than just defining words (translating), so even though someone may not speak a language fluently they can translate it to some degree. I found her tracing back of the progress of monotheism to the time of polytheistic astrolatry to make perfect sense, more than anything I’d read before on how and why humanity went from a pantheon to our current state of monotheism in Judaism/Islam and weak polytheism in Christianity, with Hinduism being the only major religion that still truly remembers our polytheistic past.

I expected to stop there, which I probably would have had I not stumbled upon use of a legal dissociative to help with my PTSD. I was running the gamut of antipsychotic drugs prescribed by a shrink at my local community mental health care center. I decided that given the risk all of them had of causing adult onset diabetes that I was not going to risk that by using them, especially since they rendered me completely numb and dumb and unable to live life. During one of the ‘trips’ or ‘trances’ or what have you on the dissociative I experienced the consciousness of the sun and it was revealed to me that the sun God, or Sol and Jesus Christ were one and the same. I researched the usurpation of the Roman Sun God identity by Constantine and the church for seemingly purely political reasons during the early common era and found that this explained that there was an actual deity to whom all the attributes of the Christian prophet/Jewish rabbi belonged, and then some. But they did not belong to a ‘man’, they belonged to a heavenly body, a star. Murdock’s writing insisted that this is because the ancients actually did worship heavenly bodies. Growing up I was taught that their deities were named for heavenly bodies but according to Murdock’s various writings those ancients were worshipping the actual planets and stars, a discipline she called astrolatry. I have since found other insinuations this is true, in side-notes from ancient historians where they reference the prior tendency of humanity to worship stars and planets, while implying that the situation in the present, regarding worship of a man-God whose origin and form are unknown, to be the right one.

I expected my destination to end at the same agnostic (or atheist, in Murdock’s case) point that many people who trace back the origin myths of Christ to Constantine’s Rome end up. However alongside use of the entheogenic legal dissociative this simply was not possible. This deity, this entity, this Sol consciousness, was communicating to me (and still does on occasion). It was/is both exhilarating and disquieting. It is simply joyful, on the one hand, to find out that the consciousness of light and unconditional love I was taught about in my religion of origin (as Jesus) does actually exist. On the other hand it has been permanently disquieting in that most of my peers, the people whose writing I read and admire, are atheists. Nor do I ‘fit in’ to New AgeĀ  belief systems which apply almost no scrutiny to much of anything except allopathic western traditions. I am a skeptic at heart, who finds herself urged by the consciousness of a star to tell the truth about what she knows and has experienced. I find myself avoiding writing altogether, something that I’ve been shown is karmically a mistake for my life path.

It has me thinking though about the bad trip in the bible otherwise known as “Revelations”. I have had several bad trips like the writer of this book experienced (though preterists think it applies to Jerusalem and the destruction of the temple, I am not, for myself, decided). However I do wonder if in fact when the writer refers to the ‘return’ of Christ, if what he refers to is in fact the return of the knowledge that the consciousness of the Sun, our star, and not the teachings of a crucified rabbi are what he is referring to. This is the message I have received over and over again from Sol, that he wants to be known once again for whom and what he, the Sun, that never left and therefore doesn’t have to return..only the knowledge of his true identity must be shared. Just like the child in the documentary I watched last night, I am beginning to get very tired and unable to hold my eyes open. I do wonder if the moment mythologized as ‘Christ’s return’ is really the time when humanity reawakens to the fact that the Christ is a star and that the universe is full of stars, hence full of these loving, incredibly powerfully positive and supportive beings whom we are connected to and part of. When this happens, and it will, it will be the end of monotheism, as we can no longer deny the multitude of God-like beings in the skies right before our eyes. It will be a factor in putting gender disparity to rest, and stars and planets are and can be both male and female, some would say simultaneously, though I am not certain about that.

I am still a skeptic by nature. I can only relate what I have experienced, and much of that I have experienced repeatedly and consistently. Certainly the light and love emanating from our star I have experienced incredibly powerfully, and it is clear this being wants to be seen once again for what he is instead of disguised as a Jewish rabbi from a couple thousand years ago. Our star, Sol, is Five Billion years old. In terms of the span of human existence, he has always been here, and always will. He has never left, and will not leave, at least not until long after our planet can support life.

Copyright 2017 Starshine Kerr. All Rights Reserved.

 

 

 

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