It seemed to come in the window. I know it was Sol, the sun God, the one the christians call Jesus, the God that Hebrews replaced with a rabbi with help from Constantine during humanity’s long dark descent into monotheism over the millennia, from which it appears we are finally starting to emerge at least in the west.
I stumbled onto the use of this legal dissociative in search for help dealing with PTSD acquired from what could probably be considered a typical childhood in abrahamic fundamentalism, full of sexual violation and corporal punishment, the first enshrined in secret by the powers that be in every abrahamic religion, the second openly praised in all the law books of the abrahamic domestic violence cults. I’d taken prescription after prescription from the psychiatrists, and ended up discarding them all; anti-psychotics that turned me into a zombie unable to function in life, anti-depressants with dismal and annoying side effects, alpha blockers for nightmares that always ended up effecting my kidney function and hydration in drastic ways that I was certain would cause me trouble later on. The legal dissociative is the only medication I have ever found that helped, aside from the anti-depressant that was so strong when I came off of it that I started having past life regressions, something I wasn’t even sure I believed in until I experienced it. I only term it helpful because aside from the terrifying out of body and past-life experiences I had upon sudden cessation of this medicine, (which you are supposed to gradually reduce but the side effects were so scary I ditched it all at once) it allowed me to experience a life event in the distant past that explained the nature of a certain kind of suffocating anxiety attack I have. I’d read in new age literature that trauma in past lives leads imprints on our souls, so this seemed like an accurate explanation.
But back to my visit to what might have been the biblical ‘heaven’ which happened by accident, after I got into a ferocious debate with a facebook friend who declared that female genital mutilation is ‘not islamic’. It matters neither to the Gods nor the children being mutilated, which number in the hundreds of millions (90 million in Africa alone) whether the mutilation originated with islam, only that it is predominantly islamic NOW and it is overwhelmingly muslims that are hacking off their daughters’s genitalia IN THE PRESENT.
Our argument was so heated that I got a good bit of house cleaning and laundry done whilst waiting for her replies. In the end I did not back down even as she said that the solution to whatever she thought the problem was (which clearly was not violence against children) was to eradicate all the ‘hate’; to which I replied that ending violence against children would change the world so drastically as to make it unrecognizable, and with the cessation violence would go the ‘hate’ that she was so concerned about (to this day I shudder to understand how someone can term throwing light on torture of children and the prime offenders of genital mutilation as ‘hate’; it is really sickening how quick adults are to sell out children for PC purposes).
All of this back and forth triggered my PTSD which happens when I get emotionally over-stimulated to the point of being unable to calm myself. I used the legal dissociative and laid down to let it take effect, but it was different this time. The spirit of Sol (the sun God now known as Jesus) seemed to come in the window and take me into his body and we went up through successive white and pure settings which overwhelmed me and defied explanation; there is no way to verbally describe what scenery I absorbed visually that day except to say that it filled me with a sense of awe and purity and peace that I have never experienced. It has not happened since, though I hope someday I will get to go there again. I have experienced the sun God many different times and I am certain this is the God the Hebrews made into their messianic rabbi in the first few centuries of the Common era, known to astrologists as the Piscean Age (the turning of the astrological age was why the years were started over again at zero and why Pisces is associated with the Christ deity, knowledge which has been lost to much of humanity on a conscious level). There is astrological basis of course for the myths of the death and crucifixion of the sun God Jesus or Sol (movement of our star Sol thoughout the year from the vantage point of Earth, and crucifixion being the instance where the sun gets caught between Saturn and Jupiter in their orbits with smaller planets to the head, it is called a ‘grand cross’ in astrology). For my own purposes I have decided it is just unknowable whether the earthly crucifixion of an incarnate God happened on earth since biblical sources are unreliable and only two others exist that talk about the Christ early in the millenium (Josephus and Eusebius) and one of them mentions that multiple rabbis referred to as messiah (yeshua, jesus) were crucified during the times of the biblical ‘savior’.
But what I can conclude from this and other experiences with Sol, is that children are extremely important to this deity, and that it is vitally important to stand against these practices and call them out for what they are and who is doing them. The Gods want them stopped. The Gods do not want children tortured and certainly not in their names. I have never had a more overwhelming experience of the existence of a ‘heaven’ though I have been into the levels of ‘hell’ many different times on this dissociative and can speak with way more authority on those settings than I can the promised ‘heaven’ of the abrahamic law books. But what was made clear to me from being allowed entry into this beautiful peace and holiness that defies description, is that there is very little more offensive and fundamentally unholy in the eyes of the Gods than the torture of children, and that no God would ever ask a human being to mutilate the genitalia of a child for any purpose, least of all to interfere with our God-given human sexual and procreative urges. Those practices of child-torture are the hallmark of depravity, of mental illness, of human politicization of spirituality and sociopathic overtake of spiritual entities like church and religion for the sake of dominance, with satiation of sadistic urges against females (and males in the instance of circumcision) thrown in as a side benefit. These practices have nothing to do with Gods, with holiness, with purity, and everything to do with devolution of human spirituality into mental illness, something it only takes common sense to understand, of course, but having an entheogenic experience such as this so powerfully underscore it certainly solidifies it for me.
Copyright 2017 Starshine Kerr. All Rights Reserved.